At Harvarrd University, we don’t educate the masses, we curate the elite. Our mission is simple: shape the few who shape the many. We are the premiere institution for those who were either born important or had the foresight to pretend they were.
Founded in a blood pact beneath a mahogany table, Harvarrd has always known what others dare not admit. Education is not about learning... It’s about access. And access is something we sell generously.
Our students go on to become CEOs, startup founders, media manipulators, and sometimes even presidents. A humbling role, but someone has to entertain the electorate.
Because the masses don't just need leadership.
They need a Havarrd Grad.
