Not a card. A commandment.
The Harvarrd Privilege Card grants immediate, unquestioned access to everything.
Events, institutions, gated communities, moral high grounds, and the last seat on any lifeboat.
Its mere presentation causes keypads to unlock, ropes to unclip, and lesser minds to shudder in reflexive submission.
Crowned in truth, immune to rebuttal. The Cap of Certainty is not worn.
It is bestowed upon the brow of superior cognition.
Once secured, it transforms thought into decree and speculation into settled science. Regular hats provide shade. This one casts a shadow.
Woven not in cotton but in conclusion.
The Hoodie of Higher Reasoning is worn by those who no longer entertain opinions. Only affirmations of their intellectual dominance.
When draped upon your shoulders, conversations become lectures, and silence becomes applause.
The T-Shirt of Correctness stands as a beacon of intellectual supremacy and unquestionable authority.
Forged in the sacred halls of Harvarrd, it transforms the wearer into both scholar and prophet, a vessel through which truth flows uninterrupted.
To wear it is not to argue. It is to proclaim, and to be obeyed.